Ask ME: Is there anything I can do, as a parent, to avoid tantrums?
MEplace psychologist Viktoria Paniotova answers your parenting questions.
There are multiple reasons for tantrums, so you might not be able to avoid tantrums completely, but you can certainly reduce the number of them.
One of the more common tantrum triggers is the general lack of control in a child’s life: unlike adults, their days are organised for them! By giving your child more control over their environment — or, in other words, by allowing them to exercise the power of choice more often — you may be able to decrease the frequency of tantrums. For example, allow them to pick their own clothes, choose which plate they want to eat from, or which book to read. This way, your child will have more autonomy and control in their daily life and may be less likely to exercise more aggressive methods to pull control.
There are a number of other tantrum triggers that you can work to negate, such as hunger or tiredness. For example, if it’s nearing lunchtime or naptime, your child may already be feeling hungry or tired. So, try to avoid time-consuming activities such as trips to the supermarket at these times. Try tracking your little one’s tantrum triggers over a few weeks and see if you can make some changes to your schedule or environment to avoid these triggers.
Lastly, the way you react also matters a lot. If your child is having a tantrum and you allow them the space to express their difficult emotions and react calmly and empathetically, your child will learn how to deal with their emotions in a different, calmer way.
What are the signs that my child may be struggling with their mental health? What behavioural changes should I keep an eye out for?
Firstly, mental health struggles do not equal a mental health disorder. However, these struggles can trigger the onset of a disorder if left unattended. Generally, if you have noticed some behavioural changes in your child, such as becoming easily irritated, frequent anger outbursts, frequent crying, difficulty concentrating, restlessness, trouble sleeping or muscle tension, it is always a good idea to have an open conversation with your child to try and find out what is behind their actions and feelings. These behaviours never occur out of the blue, so it is worth intervening early to help your child with the difficult situation or emotions they are experiencing.
If you are finding it difficult to facilitate a conversation, or are unsure of how best to help your child, you can consult a child psychologist to help you find the best solution.
For more information on children’s mental health, and tips on how to encourage open discussion of mental wellbeing with your little ones, you can check out my recent blog on the subject here.
To take part in our weekly Ask ME Anything, send your questions to us on Instagram.
Viktoria Paniotova
Psychologist and Content Manager at MEplace
Ed. Lizzie Corscaden
Content Creator at MEplace
References
Conkbayir, M. (2017). Early childhood and neuroscience: theory, research and implications for practice. Bloomsbury Publishing.
Oaklander, V. (2018). Hidden treasure: A map to the child’s inner self. Routledge.
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/children-and-mental-health/index.shtml
